New Details Revealed About Richard Quest

It was revealed today that not only was Richard Quest, the notoriously zany and hyperactive British CNN contributor, found to be in possession of a ziplock bag with a small amount of methamphetemine in it, but he was also in possession of some sexual paraphenalia in the form of a rope tied around his neck and attached to his genitals, as well as a sex toy in his boot. Thank goodness these types of contraband aren’t illegal, otherwise he might not have gotten the proverbial slap on the wrist some gracious New York judge gave him.

I’ve heard of cock rings, and when I heard about Quest’s special toy I was curious to see what it was all about. Unfortunately, I’m not able to provide a picture and it appears (after some reluctant research) that the item that he was wearing hasn’t hit the male sex toy market yet. Not only is he zany, but he’s also pretty creative when it comes to accessorizing his balls. Rest assured, I bet some entrepeneurial S&M sex fiend out there is crafting the item for sale due to the recent exposure Quest has given this new-fangled toy. They could even market it with his name, like “The Quest Knot,” or “The Quest Leash” with a sales pitch like “Perfect for those really really early walks in central park while snorting meth off the dildo you stole from your anonymous one night stand that you keep in your fuck-me boots.”

Shagadelic, baby!