Permacarn’s Weblog

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Honda Is In The Business Of Symphony Conducting

AsimoHonda’s Asimo robot (seen here in “gay flirt” mode) is set to conduct the Detroit Symphony Orchestra on May 13th. What an impressive robot, right? The company lists its abilities as being able to walk forward and backward, climb up and down stairs, and can run up to 4 miles an hour. I guess the pre-requisites for conducting a symphony aren’t as complicated as I thought, seeing as I can walk sideways, I can run up and down stairs, and I can walk 4 miles an hour.  

Honda released a statement saying that it’s merely providing consumers with an alternative that is more reliable and efficient than what the market currently has to offer. Domestic conductors collectively shuddered and are preparing for hard times analogous to the current domestic vs. Asian car market.


Former Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul took it upon himself to level the playing field by learning to conduct himself. Ahem, I mean learning to also conduct. He feels that not only do cheap imports of toys and food from Asia pose a risk to American’s health, importing conductors will compromise the US’s ability to compete in a market that relies on guys’ abilities to wave their hands around passionately.

As an aside, when was the last time you watched a symphony where the people playing the instruments were actually paying attention to whatever the hell the conductor was doing? I’m sure if the robot had an emotion chip it would feel just as neglected as the human conductors probably do afterwards. And it will probably take all the credit for creating such beautiful music by bowing and accepting roses just like humans.


April 26, 2008 - Posted by | Uncategorized

1 Comment »

  1. It is suprisingly impossible to tell just what that poor asian guy is thinking as the robot molests him. Pride? Fear? Is he wondering if he’ll have enough for a happy ending?

    Comment by Paul | April 27, 2008 | Reply

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